Simple
by ximashitax
Summary: Roy thinks about some things that aren't as simple as they began RoyxEd
1. Chapter 1

Ah, so this is my first story here. Mmm, it's just a really short one-shot, but I've been thinking I might make a bigger story off of it later.

* * *

This... it would never last.

He was an idiot to think it would. Of course, Roy Mustang could stand being an idiot. How low he had come to accept that, but the high and mighty flame alchemist had sunk low ever since he had lost the one person he could say was dear to him.

Just for this little bit of happiness, he could be an idiot. He hadn't been happy in so long; it was nice to have something to look forward to again. Something that could make him forget about what would happen in the future and what had happened in the past. Everything that Roy did was futile, because this would, of course, never last.

_This_, as Roy referred to it, had started simply enough.

He was lonely. Roy Mustang was lonely. Another thing to add the the pathetic list of attributes that belonged to the once powerful flame alchemist. The homunculi were gone, and he could finally return to what was once his main goal in life, but the truth was, Roy Mustnang's hopes and goals were different now, and the hommunculi had managed to take his hope away. Instead of jumping to achieve the title of fuhrer, Roy Mustang became lonely.

Hawkeye realized Roy was lonely. Apparently the sad state he was in was so obvious that she actually decided to acknowledge it. Maybe the real reason was that she wanted him to get back to work, but whatever the reason, she acknowledged it, and Roy took her out on a few dates. Simple. Nothing new for the great womanizer, Roy Mustang.

Things for Roy, however, rarely remained so. They went on a few dates, and then she just had to wear her hair down on some formal occassion. Whatever the occassion, things became less simple. He refused to admit the true reason he liked her hair more when it was down. He tried and tried to deny it with flimsy excuses about how it made her look more feminine, and how it made her look less uptight. How he was really just attracted to his girlfriend and finding this side of her that was more free-spirited.

But in the end, he knew he was lying to himself. Her hair was a shade off from what he wished it was, and it was either up in that clip, or down. Never in a braid. Still, at night, did it really matter? It was dark, and with only the moon to illuminate her, he could pretend. Pretend her arms weren't all real, pretend she was slightly smaller, pretend she was someone else.

She kept him company and he felt warm again, a feeling he hadn't felt in so long. He could forget his worries for that split second when he saw long, golden hair falling across his pillow, but only a second, because when he fully woke up, Roy realized what he had been hoping the night before. What he had been imagining.

Roy was being torn apart by his own conscience.

Riza...she didn't deserve to be used like he was using her. She deserved someone who saw her as herself, not a ghost from their past. Someone who appreciated her, and wasn't constantly noticing the things that were wrong about her. A part of Roy loved Riza, really did, but only a part of his heart. And in reality, Roy's entire heart belonged to another, but he wasn't guilt-free. Roy realized what he was doing was wrong.

But he...he needed this small bit of relief. These miniscule seconds where he could forget the past and forget what he was missing. What had left him, what he would never have again.

Riza is not an idiot, and she would definitely find out if he continued. Then Roy would be alone, again, but he would feel worse this time.

These little moments tore him apart each time, because as much as Roy tried to fool himself, the body lying next to him was that of Riza, not the amber-eyed person he longed for and loved.

No, and each time he felt that second of peace, the moments afterwards were two times as bad as before. Nothing was worse than having his love torn away from him again each night, realizing again each night that all of this was a lie.

Yet, Roy would continue. Ignoring the fact that Riza would leave him and that he felt horrible the next morning, because this was all he could live for now. Now that he was alone.

Now that Edward Elric had left him.

* * *

Like it? No? I know the ending wasn't all like "OMG you mean he was talking about Ed the whoooole time?" But still, that's how I roll, lol. Well, review if you can, cause I'm considering making this more than a oneshot and need advice from you smart talented people.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you two my two whole readers! .:waves a banner around:.

Ok, so, I figured I would continue this just because...I felt like it...Yeah. Oh, and I am totally going off in my own little fma world with no regard for how the series really goes at the end. Sooo, enjoy! .

* * *

Alphonse Elric was a nice kid. Really, Roy liked him. The only problem was that Alphonse wasn't 'Al.' Everyone had gotten used to the big suit of armor that always followed Ed around. The one that collected kittens and befriended everyone in the office. 

Riza was probably affected the most by this new Alphonse; while everyone had known the Elric brothers, she had been the most attatched to them, and try as she might, she couldn't hide this.

Alphonse? He was...still kind, but he seemed to be forcing his kindness, not radiating it like he used to. Roy figured it was simply because people had always told Alphonse that he was kind. Of course, Roy would always take care of Alphonse, because that's the one thing that Ed would've wanted.

Alphonse was yet another source of pain for Roy, because he seemed to idolize Edward, yet, he knew nothing about him.

* * *

Alphonse Elric was on his way back to the headquarters when he heard yelling coming from the direction of his destination. 

"I'm telling you I can come in. I have a freaking watch! See? State-freaking-certifed alchemist!"

"I'm sorry, you might have the clothes right, but you are certainly not Alphonse Elric. Please leave before I force you to."

"What the hell?!? Of course I'm not Al! Let me in! I have the freaking watch!"

"Listen, your watch is obviously a fake, because I do not recognize you."

"Well I son't recognize you. Besides, why would I pretend to be a part of the military? It's not all that great being a dog! Now let me in!"

"I will use force if necessary."

Alphonse was now at the source of the noise and saw that the person was in fact dressed exactly like him. The only problem was the color of his hair, but the stranger was obviously very similar in appearance.

"Excuse me, what's going on here?" Alphonse enquired

"Alphonse. Good, this stranger has been attempting to get in, claiming that he's you."

"I TOLD YOU! I AM NOT PRETENDING TO BE AL!-Wait, Al?" The stranger dressed like him suddenly spun around to face Alphonse, and pocketed the silver watch that had previously been shoved in the guard's face.

"Wow, you really have taken to dressing like your older brother." The stranger continued, now seeming to radiate importance. The loud, harsh voice was now gone and replaced with one that was softer.

Alphonse's face lit up at the stranger's comment.

"You knew my brother?" He questioned excitedly, hoping to uncover some of the mystery behind the older brother he had only heard stories of.

The stranger looked at Alphonse with a weird look on his face before laughing and saying, "Al, you really are weird. Did the bastard put you up to this? Figure's he'd come up with some stupid plan like that..." the stranger suddenly trailed off and many emotions played across his face before suddenly he said, "Alright! Let's go see how that bastard can pay."

Alphonse was suddenly dragged off towards the headquarters as the guard looked on, obviously as confused as Al was.

* * *

Riza had just gotten the entire office to settle down when a door slammed open. Yes, slammed _open._

Up until now, she had only known one person who could manage such a thing, and that was of course Edward Elric. But Ed was dead, and in a way, so was Al. Riza was then surprised when she looked up only to see Ed himself standing in front of her, towing along a flustered Alphonse.

Riza blinked once, wondering if he was really Ed, and in one second she tried to piece everything that was running through her mind together. She had assumed that Edward had passed away, but they had never found any proof. Ed usually made a lot of noise wherever he was, but he could have been alive...

_"Maybe...no, **yes.** It's definitely Edward," _she thought. She let herself smile slightly at how often Ed had surpassed everyone's expectations and let herself accept that Edward Elric had managed to come back from the dead.

Riza turned her attention back to the scene at hand and watched as Alphonse wrenched himself away from Ed after a slight struggle. A confused expression crossed Edward's face as he turned around to bring Alphonse back, obviously still unaware of the fact that Alphonse didn't remember him.

Riza then remembered that Roy had stayed in today instead of leaving for lunch. She looked over to him just as he began to glance up to see what was going on.

* * *

Roy had chosen to ignore the noise up until this point, but became suspicious when the noise-makers were not suddenly reprimanded by Hawkeye upon entrance. 

Roy looked up from the paperwork he was doing and for a split second he thought he saw Ed. He shook his head slightly and realized that it was just Alphonse, suddenly letting how pathetic he really was sink in. Still, he had an excuse. Al looked a lot like Ed from the back, except for a slight difference in hair color, and for some odd reason the light was playing tricks on him because Alphonse's hair looked surprisingly like Ed's...

* * *

Riza watched, waiting for Roy's reaction. She saw sorrow, pity, and denial wash over him, along with confusion. Then, she watched as he put on his smiling mask. Still, beneath it Riza could always see his hollow eyes. She was honestly afraid that he would go mad someday. 

Edward turned around again, giving Roy a perfect view of his face, and Riza watched as Roy fell deeper into his mask, and his tired, almost dead voice sounded foreign when he began to speak.

"Hello Alphonse, you're back early."

Edward's face began to twist into confusion and anger at Roy's statement.

"What IS it with people calling me Al?!? OH! And don't even THINK I'm letting you off the hook for making Al be a part of this weird plan of yours, Bastard!"

Riza watched as Roy's expression seemed to break under so much pressure. He turned towards her, obviously quetioning his own sanity, and she nodded slightly. Roy turned back to Ed again, obviously trying to figure everything out in his mind.

"Edward..." Roy began weakly.

"What is it, bastard? What's goin' on around here?" Edward snapped, causing Roy to come back to reality.

"Fullmetal," Roy began, voice stronger, and his trademark smirk in place, "You seem to forget that coming back from the dead isn't an everyday occurance, and to be honset, we never expected such a feat from a person so small."

Roy hoped his face was the perfect appearance of the "smirking bastard," and he tried to hide all previous confusion for the moment. Right now he was more concerned with the fact that like Fullmetal, he had forgotten something very important in this time apart.

He had forgotten that Edward Elric was completely unaware of the fact that he, Roy Mustang, was in love with him.

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Be my best friend and review. I need advice on how to improve my mediocre writing skills. Thanks! 


	3. Chapter 3

Oh wow, I think I went and died because I got more reviews this time! Woo...yea, I'm sorta pathetic, lol. Thanks to hlstealth for giving me great advice on improving my writing, and everyone else for reading this!

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In the very loud office of Roy Mustang, where we lay our scene...

"Bastard! I'm the full-freaking-metal alchemist! I could come back from the dead, die, and come back AGAIN while still managing to turn your goddamn reports in!" ranted a blonde alchemist whose height could not be described by any, simply for the safety of all who surrounded said alchemist.

"So you admit that you're short." Roy replied, obviously not caring about the safety of all who surrounded Ed, with a lazy smirk that hid pain and denial easily.

The 'full-freaking-metal alchemist' was set off in a tantrum as he realized the loop in his words. Riza was tempted to regret Ed's reappearance simply because nothing would ever get done at this point, but quickly scolded herself for even thinking it. Roy was obviously much happier with Ed here, although he still seemed pained by something...

"I GREW you bastard! GREW!!"

"Fascinating...how much?" he said, his voice obviously pointing out that he found Edward's growth to be the exact opposite in his eyes.

"...like...ummm...an inch..." Ed replied, getting quieter with each word, "BUT STILL! Being sh-I mean- not FREAKishly tall definitely has some benefits!!"

"Yes, yes, of course fullmetall," Roy began, waving a hand as if to dismiss everything that had been discussed previously, "Now, those 'goddamned reports' of mine?" He said, waiting to win an argument against the not tall alchemist before him.

A large grin crossed Ed's face as he pulled from his coat a large stack of papers, uniquely labeled, "All the Amazing Reports I Did That The Bastard Will Never Read Because He Is ..." Unfortunately, the last part of the title could not be read by anyone except Edward Elric himself, because the words had started out huge and gradually shrunk in size so as to fit the rest on the paper.

In Riza's honest opinion, it looked as if a six year old had titled it, but she knew that Roy would read it. He would painstakingly decipher Ed's writing, and chuckle at the unique side notes and drawings. Just like he read every other report that Ed had handed in, even though he already knew what was inside of them. Edward seemed completely unaware of this fact though. Then, Riza realized what had been nagging at her since he walked in.

Ed was completely unaware of the fact that Roy was in love with him.

"Say, what's up with your eye?" Ed began suddenly, throwing Riza out of her train of thought, "Why haven't you had Al fix it? He was all into the healing alchemy that we researched. Even though a bastard like you doesn't really deserve his help..." Ed trailed off as he noticed an odd look on Roy's face, and answered it with a dark look that obviously said that he was trying to figure everything out.

"Hawkeye, please bring Alphonse back." Roy said in a slightly broken sounding voice. Riza tried to figure out if his sorrow was for Ed or Alphonse as she walked out the door.

* * *

As Riza searched for Alphonse, she finally let Edward's return sink in. Ed was back, and that meant that Roy would leave her. Unless he decided to have pity on her and stay, or try to hide his obvous feelings for Ed...but still, Riza would leave him if he did such a stupid thing. She had to.

Riza slowed down and leaned against a wall. She couldn't really pinpoint her feelings for Roy. She admired and respected him, and she would do anything for him. She couldn't stand to see him depressed, which was why she went out with him in the first place. Although this was all true, and she_ was_ attracted to him (Well, who wasn't?) she still didn't _love_ him.

To Riza, Roy was just the kind of person that she would jump off a cliff for; the kind of person that could make putting up with everyone worth it. She wasn't really attatched to him in a loving sort of way, although she had mistaken her feelings for love in the past.

Roy...is Roy. Hawkeye smiled as she realized that the best way to explain him was that he was completely original, and she began to search for Alphonse yet again.

* * *

Roy and Ed turned as Riza returned to the room with a very confused Al.

"Alphonse, this is your brother Ed. We've told you stories about him." Roy stated as blandly as he would have if he had said "Alphonse, this is a fork. You've heard about them before" Riza sighed at how blunt he had been, and waited for Ed's reaction.

"Pleased to meet you." Alphonse said, extending a hand in greeting.

Ed's face contorted into an unusual blend of fear and confusion as he turned to Roy, obviously wondering if this was a sick joke. Roy shook his head, keeping his gaze downwards.

"Huh..." Ed began, obviously not knowing what to do. Riza felt her heart break for the elder Elric as he put on a ridiculous grin and picked up in a falsely happy voice, "Well, at least I know you look up to me still."

Roy lifted his head, equally saddened by the attempt at joy, and for once didn't even bring up that Al never really had to look up to him. Unfortunately, Alphonse himself didn't share the same respect of the cheer, because he began angrily.

"I do not look up to you! You left me and Winry and Pinako. You left us, and youo did nothing. You're not even taller than me. How could I look up to _you_?!?" Alphonse let emotions that he didn't even know he had make their way into his voice. Life was unfair. Ed was unreasonable. The brother who he had only heard stories of, the brother that was 'dead,' was standing in front of him, acting as if everything was fine. Life was unfair.

Ed looked down, obviously accepting the blame coming from his brother. Ignoring the comment on his height, and letting his bangs fall in his face. The sight was all in all, heart wrenching, and Roy couldn't stand it.

"Alphonse," Roy began with a reproachful voice, "Your brother is the fullmetal alchemist. It's not like he did nothing."

"Fullmetal alchemist?!?" Alphonse screamed, now hysterical, "I've heard that all my life. Well, you know what? People say that I have done better than HIM. That I have surpassed the 'fullmetal alchemist' in skill. And guess what else? I didn't have to hurt everybody to do it! He has no right to hide behind these excuses!"

Alphonse felt much better with all of this straightened out, and looked up to Roy to see what he would think of all this unfairness that had held him down all these years. All those comments that kept him from being able to truly have his own name, but no sorrow was directed towards him. Only towards his brother.

Said brother simply walked out the door, with no drama involved. Simply a "Sorry, Al." before the door quietly clicked behind him.

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Reviews are food for Spot, the hamster that runs on a wheel thing and makes my brain work! BTW I'm not really anti-Riza (As you can see) so I sorta wanna give her a match. Any opinions? 


	4. Chapter 4

Ok! Thanks for coming back again! Umm, I'm told my last two chapters were bad 'cause they weren't as serious so I'm really gonna try to fix that! It's just that...Ed is so fun. I really hope I clear up what's going on in this chapter, because I REALLY don't hate Al. Blah, well, on a lighter note. I got my first review cookie ever! To anybody who writes, is it just me or is that really cool? Well, I am weird, so it's probably just me, but thanks for the cookie! And thanks everyone for all the advice on my writing, it helps a lot!

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The sound of the door clicking shut echoed in Alphonse's head, and he felt the anger directed at him coming from the two people left in the room with him. To be honest, Alphonse didn't understand why they were so mad at him. 

It wasn't even fair. Alphonse didn't see why Roy and Riza couldn't see that. Ed had left. He had made everyone sad, just because he left. And now, he was back. Apparently everyone expected Alphonse to just hug Ed and be happy. To say "Hey brother," and share some ice cream cake while exchanging stories of their time apart. But how could they expect that to happen? Ed had _left_.

When he left, everyone cried. Alphonse didn't feel the need to, because he didn't know his brother, but he did. Because that was what happened. Edward Elric was "dead," so everyone cried. He even had a headstone right next to their mother's. So, now that Edward was alive, everyone had been sad. For _nothing_. How could Roy and Riza not see that Ed was just undoing everything that Alphonse's life had been built around?

This brother that was "dead," had looked Alphonse in the eyes. Looked him in the eyes, and ruined everything. He had made it so that Winry, Pinako, everyone had missed him when he wasn't even gone in the first place. Not only that, but, he had _the look_ in his eyes too.

That look. Alphonse hated that look. Everyone wore it around him. It was that look that said that he wasn't their 'Al.' That said he wasn't good enough. That said he was useless and wrong. Alphonse couldn't help it. He tried, and tried, and tried until he felt like he would lose himself in all of the acts and masks. People wanted this person that didn't exist anymore, and Alphonse wanted to be that person. To share smiles with Winry about silly things that her 'Al' did with 'Ed' when they were kids, but he couldn't. He could never be the same.

Alphonse had always acted like what he was told that 'Al' was, and he had dressed like 'Ed.' He would do anything to make people less sad. But still, they always had that look that said that they missed Al. Winry had even said it to Auntie Pinako once when she thought Alphonse was gone, but he heard her. The day he heard her say that, he realized that he could never act like Al. He had to _become_ Al.

Alphonse had listened to and analyzed all the stories he had ever heard about 'Ed and Al.' He had worked so hard to become these people. He would dutifully take in stray cats and eat until he was just about ready to explode, but he always felt lost. Being these people became a part of his everyday life, and he could never be himself anymore. It hurt to pretend that he was someone he knew he wasn't, but he didn't know where the pretending stopped anymore.

Then, he had seen Edward Elric, his older brother. His older brother that was what everybody wanted. That could be what everybody wanted without _trying_. That could just be there and make people happy with mere _presence_. That older brother that had chosen to_ leave_, and make all these people sad despite all of this. And then, when he thought about Ed leaving everyone, another voice ran through his head. Brother didn't have the right to leave like that, to make that choice.

When Ed looked down at Alphonse, when he saw how horrible and fake he had been, how he had failed to be everyone's Al, he snapped. How could Riza and Roy not understand? It was Edward who ruined everything for everybody. Edward who had made it so Alphonse couldn't go anywhere without being asked how great his older brother was. Edward who made it so that Alphonse had to admit that he didn't remember who his older brother was, or who he himself was for that matter. Why didn't they understand? It wasn't Alphonse's fault.

"It's not my fault!" he finally screamed, coming back into the tension filled room.

"...not your fault?" Roy asked in a surprisingly icy voice, "Not your fault?!? You just told Edward that EVERYTHING he ever did was worthless. What he did for you, for the people, was worthless. What he died for was worthless. What he lived his life for was worthless. You just said that everything that ever went wrong was HIS FAULT!" Roy's voice went from ice to fire as he lost control of his emotions that had been threatening to spiral out of control already.

"No I didn't..." Al began weakly.

"Yes, you did. You might not have meant to, but you did." Riza interjected cleanly.

"Whether you meant it or not is besides the point," Roy roared, "You still said it! How...why...?" The usually eloquent Roy was surprisingly short on words as he tried to gain control of the situation and his feelings yet again.

"Well. It's true!" He began defensively, "He didn't do much, because everyone says I surpassed him, and it IS his fault. He made everyone sad, and then he just shows up expecting me to understand and accept him. Am I the ONLY one who finds that unfair?"

"Alphonse, your brother never expects anything from you that is unfair. And surpassing him? Ed worked for the people, for you. That's what sets you apart. You've worked to surpass him, but Ed never tried to surpass anyone. He simply worked for you." Riza stated calmly. Alphonse felt somewhat upset at the fact that Riza thought that he was being unreasonable, and felt even worse when Roy began to yell again.

"Yes. AND, Edward was, and is, the best. You surpassing him is simply because he never had the time. He was busy trying to get your b-" Roy stopped to organize his words for a moment, "get things done. Yes, you've worked with books to be the smartest alchemist, but your brother...he never worked just to have talent to flaunt. He worked for results. He always held himself below everything else on his list of importance, and...he always took the punishment that he felt was due." Roy finished solemnly.

"Equivalent Exchange." said Riza with a voice that implied that there was so much more to the phrase than what Alphonse was hearing.

"Riza, would you take care of Alphonse. I need to find fullmetal before he gets hit by a car. He is very short." Roy said, smirk back in place, emotion out of his voice, and a sad attempt at a short joke thrown in just for the hell of it. Yes, he would give up all his feelings and thoughts just to keep up the facade that Edward believed in. That way he would come back. And he would push all his feelings aside so that the Elrics could be together again.

Yes, Equivalent Exchange.

* * *

"...Riza?" Alphonse began timidly. 

"No, I'm not mad at you, and neither is Roy, really. It's just that...you sent Edward away again, and that probably made Roy a little panicked. When Edward leaves, he really leaves." Riza sighed and gave Alphonse one of her rare smiles, although it was a weak and somewhat forced one.

"Oh. Well wouldn't he just go to Ris-"

"No, he wouldn't go there, not if Winry is as mad as you are."

"...So I pretty much screwed up?"

Alphonse reflected on everything he had learned about his brotherso far, and he realized that he couldn't hate Edward Elric. And for some odd reason, he really didn't want Ed to hate him. Alphonse had wanted a brother for so long...and now? Now he just sent his brother away again. How could he have spoken as if he knew what everyone else was thinking? How could he have been so stupid? Winry would've definitely wanted to see Ed again, and maybe being around Ed would've brought 'Al' back.

"Sort of, but...Edward might forgive you."

Riza knew for a fact that Ed would forgive Alphonse, but Alphonse needed to think that he had found a way to gain forgiveness. He really did need some sort of thing to show who he was.

"Also, Alphonse. Alchemy may have helped define who Edward was, but you're not Edward. And right now you're not even Al. You need to find out who you are without relying on everyone."

With that she left Alphonse in the room, to await the return of his brother, and to figure out who he was.

* * *

Roy, on the other hand, began to search for Ed.

Where would he be? There's nowhere for him to really go...

Trying to maintain a calm exterior, but still trying to go as fast as he could, Roy set out on foot to search for Edward Elric. He vaguely wondered where Ed would actually go when it suddenly hit him. Ed would leave Central, he would go to the train station and go to some remote town that no one would ever go to. Ignoring the views of the people on the street, Roy set out in a full sprint, hoping that he could make it to Ed in time.

At the moment Roy could think of nothing except that he might lose Ed, again. He would have to live that empty life with no smile, again. He couldn't believe that Ed had walked into his office, and he had just let him walk back out. He should've tied Ed to a chair, and never let him leave. There should not be a world without Ed ever again.

He saw the train station ahead and felt a new burst of energy. As he got closer, he saw that Edward was still there, apparently deciding where he would go. Mustang grinned at the irony, though he felt no joy as he did so. Apparently even Ed himself didn't know where he was going.

"E-Fullmetal!" Roy shouted, finally allowing himself the luxury of breathing, and realizing in doing so that he had been holding in a certain amount of breath since Ed had walked out of the room.

Ed spun around, his usually sparkling golden eyes dull and empty. Even his hair managed to look depressed; his hair was somewhat loose in it's usually perfect braid, and hair was whipping against his face in the wind.

"What do you want?" Edward asked in a tired voice that wasn't angry or upset, just...tired.

"Fullmetal, don't leave." Roy said, glad that he finally got to say what was running through his mind, though upset that he didn't get to elaborate fully and reveal his true feelings.

"Why? I've been gone this long, people will manage. Hell, no one really knows I'm back, so it's like nothing ever happened." Ed stated, and while he tried for a light, carefree tone, the pain in his voice was apparent. "I screwed up anyways."

"Fullmetal. It's not your fault Alphonse doesn't have his memories."

"Not my fault? Well, there goes the one good thing I did." Edward said sarcastically, " Believe me, I'm glad he doesn't remember anything. If he did? He would have to live every day knowing what we did." Edwards eyes were eerily hollow as he obviously stared off into something that wasn't really there, no doubt remembering the day he tried to bring their mother back.

"Fullmetal," Roy said, hoping to pull him out of his past and back to the present, "What happened while you were gone?" he inquired, desperately looking for anything that would keep Ed here longer.

Ed's face scrunched up as he went through everything that happened in his mind, and Roy would never cease to be amazed at how Ed could follow an entire conversation inside of his own head, making up lines for both parties involved, and being right more often than not.

"I...ended up in this place called Germany. There...wasn't any alchemy there, and I saw all these people that...they were like everyone here, but not. I was in, like a seperate world completely..." Ed said, obviously trying to slow down and simplify everything so as to avoid speaking to Roy again. Then he put on a fake grin and said "But you would know if you had read my reports, bastard."

"Edward." Roy said, shocking Ed with the actual use of his name, "Come back. Don't leave again."

Ed seemed to hesitate and look down at the ground, and Roy was honestly afraid that if he didn't do anything, Ed would actually leave.

"Alphonse and you can learn to understand eachother. People don't want you gone." Roy let his voice drop slightly as he tried so hard to convince Ed to stay without saying too much. He didn't want to scare Ed away. Neither of them could meet each other's eyes and Roy felt as if he would break down soon.

"Ed, please." Roy held out one hand as an offering, and hoped it would be enough to bring Ed back.

* * *

I love ice cream cake, and it can fix all the problems in the world, except one thing. It can't feed Spot, so review please! 


	5. Chapter 5

Reviews are like the best thing to ever happen to me. They make me soo happy inside, and I got another cookie, so I don't care how weird that makes me! Thanks mystykat, I love oreos! Thanks to everyone for all the feedback, and I present...a chapter...?

* * *

Ed warily looked at Roy's hand that was currently extended towards him as a show of how everyone wanted him to come back. He tried not to look at it, but really, it wasn't very often that the bastard was so sincere, and as much as Ed wanted to leave and never come back, the fact that Roy Mustang himself was standing there in front of him asking him to come back...people might really want Ed to stay.

"You're already here, why go back? People want to see you again."

Go back...he couldn't go back...Hell, he didn't _want_ to go back. But, he did want to leave. If he went far enough away, everything would become part of the past. And the past was the past, he couldn't go back. If he went far away, he could forget that almost completely hidden look of pity on Riza's face, and the empty sound of Al's voice. Emptiness was not a very Al-like word. Even inside of that hollow suit of armor, Al had always been so complete and...'Al.' Still, it was better that Al forgot everything. He could live a normal life, and have friends, and a girlfriend. Al's life was so much simpler without their past weighing him down. Ed could handle not having a normal life, he could handle their past, but Al...

Ed would not let his little brother throw away his normal life because of their stupidity in the past. Al had a body, and Ed couldn't help but smile inwardly at the fact that Al could live without any regrets. Al didn't remember Ed, but he didn't remember their past...Equivalent Exchange.

Al was Al, and Ed was pretty sure that if he went back, memory or not, Al would let him into his life. Ed could watch Al have the happiness that he had always deserved but never gotten...And if the bastard really meant it when he said that people wanted Ed to come back, then Ed would come back and find something to do. Ed didn't have to leave, right? Ed just kept trying to reassure himself of this fact and slowly raised his head.

Roy looked at Ed questioningly as he noticed a hint of Ed's usual life shining through his currently gloomy demeanor.

"Fine, I'll come back." Ed said in a brave voice, though Roy could hear a hint of fear in it.

"Good fullmetal." Roy replied with a smirking mask on, making sure he sounded as if he was praising Ed as one would praise a dog, but being severely disappointed when no traditional tantrum erupted.

"But I sure as hell am NOT holding your hand!" Ed shouted in an act of half-hearted defiance. Roy recognized this and smirked a bit before turning to return to his office. Ed followed without complaint, and Roy let himself finally let relief wash over himself as he was finally sure that Ed was going to stay.

There was no real conversation between the two of them, but Roy knew that right now silence was his best friend. His joy at having Ed return would no doubt be recognized by even the dense Ed very soon, and his whole plan would be ruined. The thought of Ed leaving again because of Roy made his stomach clench up in guilt and sorrow.

"...hey, bastard?"

"Hmm?" Roy replied, stopping and turning around when he realized that Ed had stopped walking and was apparently under the impression that the ground was a new and fascinating thing, as he would not tear his gaze from it.

"...thanks." Ed said in a quiet voice, and Roy felt his heart swell up, glad that he had done something thanks-worthy for Ed. Ed was no doubt confused by Roy's lack of an insensitive yet witty comeback and looked up hesitantly only to be met by an actual smile, not the smirk he was expecting.

"It was nothing, fullmetal."

_I did it for myself, I would've died if you had left. _

_

* * *

_

"Who am I?" Alphonse asked the room, expecting and recieving no answer.

Alphonse had tried all his life to be 'Al,' but he had never been able to be what people wanted, and now that Riza had pointed out that Alphonse needed to find out who he really is inside, he finally realized that he had no idea whatsoever of who he was.

"Alphonse, you don't have to push it, just accept who you are." Riza walked in the door with four cups and some coffee. Alphonse looked at her questioningly, wondering why she had four cups when Ed had just left. An extra cup for a fourth person that might not show up might just make people depressed, and he hated people being sad.

"Roy will bring Edward back." Hawkeye stated calmly in a voice that dared fate to decide otherwise, "But until he does, you need to know who you are before you can really deal with your brother. He's the type of person that can make even the most set people question themselves."

"That's the problem, I don't really know who I am. No offense intended to your advice, but it's not something I can figure out." Alphonse said, trying to keep a whine from showing in his voice, although he was desperate at this point.

Riza sighed patiently and poured two cups of cofee before speaking again.

"Just...list everything that you are, and then you can figure it all out." Riza remembered making a similar list when she realized that Roy was in love with Edward. She had questioned all of her beliefs in him, but in the end, knowing what she truly thought of Roy was worth the trouble.

"Ok...I'm a state alchemist," Alphonse began in a doubtful voice.

"There are plenty of state alchemists, its not really a personal trait..." Riza said in a careful voiec, trying not to discourage Alphonse's attempts.

"...oh. I'm..." Alphonse couldn't think of anything to say, simply because he didn't know what he was. Riza was probably trying to help, but he couldn't make a list when he knew nothing about himself.

"Alphonse," Riza began softly, "You were bothered that Edward made everyone sad..."

"...you're right. I don't like people to be sad," Alphonse was feeling somewhat brighter now that he had a self-defining trait, but the thought of sad people, alone people..._desperate_ people struck something inside of him, and he couldn't help but feel an odd feeling of sadness.

Breaking the contemplative silence was the entrance of Mustang, and just as Riza had said, he had brought Edward back. Riza was always right, that was part of why she was Alphonse's idol. She knew not only who she was, but who everyone else was too. She knew Roy better than anyone else, and she was so smart and sure. Roy, on the otherhand, was uncharacteristically happy in Alphonse's opinion. He was so used to Roy acting like someone had just died that this new, happy version was confusing and slightly...irritating.

Alphonse finally turned his attention to his brother, dreading the fact that he might not forgive him. Alphonse had always heard that Ed was hot-headed, and now that he had finally met this brother, he didn't want him irritated at all.

"I'm sorry for earlier," Alphonse said in a soft voice, "I don't know you, but apparently you're my brother..."

Alphonse held out one hand for a handshake and hoped that he would be able to figure out who he was with this brother's help. He saw Ed's face light up slightly and shake his hand. Alphonse was surprised by how amazed Ed seemed to be by him and rejoiced at the fact that his brother had accepted his apology.

"Fullmetal, Alphonse," Roy began melodramatically, "We have wasted quite a bit of our time on this, my entire break is effectively ruined, and we will soon have a crowd that will ask fullmetal about his time away, resulting in the destruction of my entire office. We have no choice but to...put my paper work off until tomorrow Hawkeye."

"Sir, we have to introduce Edward as alive at some point." Riza sighed at Roy's immaturity, but only to hide her joy at seeing Roy slack off at his work again. Edward's return would definitely change his attitude, and she'd have to talk to him about it over dinner tonight. She was hurt for a moment by the fact that Roy would probably be so excited about Ed's return that he would be unaffected if she broke up with him, but she pushed the thought out of her mind quickly.

"Maybe we could wait until I don't look like I got dragged through hell though?"

Riza realized that Ed would need a place to stay for a while, the fullmetal alchemist couldn't exactly go rent an apartment without being noticed. Al was out, he wasn't really ready for Ed's constant presence like that, and he would probably be scared off by the true eating habits of the elder Elric brother. Roy was a definite no; it seemed not only ridiculously suspicious, but Roy also had a high chance of losing control at some point, and Ed probably wouldn't want to see the nightmares he has caused Roy to have.

"Edward, you can stay with me until we have effectively shown you off to the people as very much alive," Riza began, watching Ed's expression carefully as she finished her statement, "Roy, I'll see you when you pick me up for dinner tonight."

Riza was rewarded for her efforts by a shocked look on Ed's face that seemed to be questioning something.

_That's good,_ she thought, _He's confused. _

Confused people are more often than not capable of falling in love. Riza hoped that this was true, for Roy's sake.

* * *

Ok, I had to redo this like three times because I kept making the dumbest typos, and then I deleted half of it on accident before posting it. Woo, I should get an award for being the most computer-inept writer ever! 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey all, I'm back for chapter whatever this is, sorry if its not that good, but I had to write an essay on shakespreare and the like. No doubt I will not only fail the essay, but also be killed from churning out a horrible story. On a lighter note, I found five dollars in my pocket this morning and am planning to make sizzling ricce soup tonight. : P

Reviews are my friend!

* * *

Riza Hawkeye walked through the door to her house after what could only be described as...sheer hell. After decisions for Ed's placement were made, Riza had needed to go shopping for the week, with Ed in tow. Since Ed was supposed to be dead, Edward was forced to go without his tell-tale red coat, which caused the blonde to act like someone had just asked him to chop off his ponytail. Riza had seriously been considering doing so, his hair had definitely seen better days, but had abruptly changed her mind after seeing Ed's childish moping simply because he had to wear a plain military uniform to go shopping. A mopey Edward was somehow more annoying than the usual Ed. All the same, after the hour it took to go shopping, Riza was finally able to walk through her door and begin her next set of tasks. 

Riza let out a long sigh before she got Edward a set of clothes to wear to stop him from complaining about the military uniform that was too big for him and decided to clean Ed's traditional attire as soon as possible. First, though, Riza had to make dinner for Ed so he wouldn't burn her kitchen down while she was out with Roy and then she had to get ready for her date with Roy...

"Are these woman's clothes?" Ed asked fearfully, trying to complain, but afraid of the gun at Riza's side.

"You can consider them unisex." Riza replied blandly as she made spagetti for the complaining alchemist. The time ticked by slowly for Edward as he watched her make the food, and he contemplated just eating the spagetti before it was even cooked. He hadn't eaten since he'd shown up back here and was to say the least, starving. The meal was finally finished and he sat down to enjoy a bowl, waiting in a relatively patient manner, if you consider fidgeting constantly and tapping his foot patient, for Riza to get a bowl too.

"I'm going out today Edward. It's all for you."

Ed eyed the massive amount of food and was excited for a moment before he realized that he had _always_ had food to himself. He had been waiting to share it. With Al. Al had always said that he couldn't wait to have a body so he could eat too, and now he had a body, but Ed couldn't share the food with him. Life seemed so unfair for a moment, and although he tried to convince himself it was equivalent exchange, he wanted to scream. Finally he just pushed himself away from the plate in front of him and ignored the hunger that gnawed at his stomach.

"I'm sorry, but I don't really want to eat." Ed announced loud enough for Riza to hear.

"Hmm. Fine, then give it to black Hayate." Riza replied, messing with her hair from the other room.

"...All of it?" Ed felt doubtful that the dog could handle this much food. It had to be bad for him at some point, right?

"Sure."

"Alright then..."

Ed warily gave the food to the dog and watched him eat the entire thing with amazement and was even more amazed when the dog finished the entire thing and wanted to play afterwards. He allowed himself a small smile before beginning a game of tug of war with the dog.

Riza walked in quietly, wondering to herself what was wrong with Ed that would make him not eat, but she wasn't able to think about the topic for long due to the fact that Roy knocked on the door. She went to answer the door to find the confused and tired face of Roy Mustang. He had been worrying about what to do about Riza since she had left with Ed at his office, but a fake smile was clumsily plastered onto his face as he noticed Riza's scrutiny.

His fake smile was replaced by a true one when he saw Ed laughing as he played a game of tug of war over a sock with Black Hayate. Ed, though he would kill anyone who said it, was beautiful when he wasn't scowling, and he had slightly misfitting pants on with a shirt that hung off his shoulder to give him a carefree sort of look. The blonde hair that he had longed to see for so long was partly covering his smiling face, and Roy figured he could just be content knowing that Ed was alive and smiling. Though the thought of never truly having Ed know how he felt made his stomach sink. Roy wasn't a fool, and he knew that if seeing Ed made him this happy, he was definitely more than a little in love with the Elric.

Riza's expression was completely missed by Roy in his attempt to soak in all he could of Ed, but she let a small smile that reflected that of Roy come across her face. If Ed and Roy could be together...the two would be good for eachother.

"Roy, let's go now?" She inquired, hoping to pull him out of his trance.

Roy was unusually plain as he settled for a simple, "Oh, yeah."

The walk to the resturaunt was quiet, and Riza felt her heart racing as she tried to figure out how she would break up with Roy.

"So how are you?" Roy asked in an attempt at conversation.

"I'm good, but Black Hayate has been sort of sick lately..." Riza's frown was apparent as she tried to figure out what could be wrong with her dog, but all Roy could think of was a certain blonde who was no doubt playing with the dog as he spoke. Was it wrong to be jealous of a dog?

"Uhuh...that's nice..."

"Roy." Riza said in a firm voice, pulling Roy out of his musings.

"Yes? What's wrong?"

"I'm not blind." Roy stopped in his tracks at her words.

Roy felt sick as he let her words sink in. She knew. She knew that he wasn't in love with her. That he was in love with Ed. Still, he didn't want her to not like him. Roy couldn't live without Riza, she brought him happiness when nothing else would. Riza was like the slight rays of light that manage to shine through the clouds on dark days. She had helped him when Ed had been pronounced dead, and he had used her. He was the worst person. Ever.

"Riza, listen, I respect you. You're the only person in our office who is so loyal and I'm sorry. I really am, I should have never acted like this. I really am sorry. If you're mad I understand, and if you forgive me I will never do anything to jeapordize your respect ever again." Roy tried to eloquently let everything out, though he felt he was somewhat rushed in his spech. The past few years had not been his best, and he figured they weren't really looking much better at this point.

"Roy...I know how you look at him. You love him. Don't tie yourself down to me with that silly promise. He's back, and you're sitting here at dinner with me?"

Roy blinked and Riza realized that Roy had never even thought of that. He had never thought of the fact that he could go to Ed at this very moment since he was back and very much alive after all. Riza had to admit that she could see why nothing had ever gotten done regarding their relationship, Roy was an absolute idiot when it came to Edward. She sighed and looked back up at Roy who was finally letting his thoughts catch up with him.

"But, fullmetal doesn't...he's not..."

"How is he supposed to if you never give him the chance? Go ahead and still be a complete bastard to him, but think about it. Alphonse doesn't remember Ed. Ed could use a little bit of emorional support right now, though he'll never admit it..." Riza trailed off and an idea occured to her, "You should take him to dinner."

"Why? How?"

"Sir, its not really my place to tell you, but Ed hasn't eaten since he got back. I even made him spagetti."

Roy frowned at Riza's statement and began to think of ways he could get Ed to go out to dinner with him. Ed knew he was supposed to go to dinner with Riza, so he had to have a really good excuse...

"Do you feel alright, Hawkeye? You look a little pale." Roy smirked, knowing that Riza was smart enough to catch on and kind enough to play along. Having someone like her was, in short, priceless.

"I think I should go home, sir, but you did get us reservations at that resturaunt..."

"Well, I did have to speak with fullmetal. I suppose I could just take him instead if you feel that sick."

"That would be fine, sir."

Roy smirked, Riza smiled, and Roy figured that with Riza on his side, he always had a chance.

* * *

"Fullmetal." Ed looked up to see Roy and Riza already back from their date...their five minute date. 

"Edward, I feel sick. I think its the weather; could you get me a glass of water?" Ed moved to get her a glass and watched her warily. Riza was never sick, so he wasn't sure how to handle it or how she ouwld act.

"I'm sorry, sir, you got those reservations and everything..." Ed was relieved for a moment that he wasn't victim to having to listen to horrid couple names like 'Cuddle muffin boy toy Roy.' He wasn't sure how he would have dealt with something of the sort and was glad he wouldn't have to. Edward Elric is not a sappy person, and for this reson respects other not-sappy people.

"Its fine hawkeye, I'll just go on and tell them I can't make it." Hawkeye is a not sappy name too. Good.

"Sir, perhaps you should take Edward. I know you had to talk to him about his report." Dinner with the bastard is not good.

"Hmm. Fullmetal, come."

"What? I am not going to dinner with this basta-" Edward turned his head back and forth between the two, not liking where this was undoubtedly going.

"Do I need to get a leash or will you follow like a good boy?"

"I'm not a boy! I grew while I was gone, so stop treating me like a kid."

"I was treating you like a dog, fullmetal." Roy's silky voice struck a nerve inside of Ed, and he felt his spine begin to tingle in a new sensation as he followed Roy out the door, wondering what dinner with the bastard had in store for him.

* * *

Roy looked at Ed over his menu and couldn't help but marvel at his sheer... Ed-ness. Seeing Ed up close and alive was a dream that Roy was finally feeling become reality, and for the hundredth time that day he let the realization that Ed was alive hit him. Riza was right. If Ed was alive, Roy wanted to get everything out in the open. How long would Ed be here? As long as Roy could make him stay, sure, but Roy would cave if Ed truly wanted to leave, in which case Roy would die from grief. But, he wanted to die without regrets at least. 

"Fullmetal, what are you ordering?" Ed wasn't really sure. He hadn't ever really been to dinner at such a nice place and he didn't have much money with him. He figured he could probably find some money in his coat, but none of it would cover the meal even if the resturaunt would take the money that he had. He absent mindedly reached into where his pocket should be only to realize that Riza had his coat. So, now he had no money with him at all.

"Fullmetal, I am buying, you know." Ed looked up at Roy, shock apparent on his face, before looking back down at the menu, trying to figure out what to order. He didn't want to eat anything until he could eat with Al, but if the bastard bought something then it would be rude to not eat it. Plus, he didn't want to get anything too expensive...why did so much thought have to go into this? Since when did the bastard's money mean anything to him? Did Riza ever have this problem?

Roy sighed at Ed's obvious confusion and took his menu away from him before ordering two steaksfrom the waitor.

"I could've ordered myself." Ed pointed out childishly, though inside he was really glad that Roy had made the decision for him. Now he had an excuse to not eat without seeming like an idiot.

"Right, I'm sure. Now then, about your report."

"You didn't even read it, did you?" _Of course I read it._

"No, why would I?" _There goes that whole tell the truth idea..._

"Fine, I'm not telling you what happened then."

Time passed by quickly for Roy as he talked with Edward about a million and one pointless things, and he found himself able to relax for the first time in a while. When the food came, there was barely a hitch in the conversation as Edward pulled out a knife and cut fiercly at his meat.

"I'm telling you," he began before stuffing some steak in his mouth, "She's seriously trying to kill that dog. I always thought she was sa-" Ed suddenly cut off as he tasted the meat, and Roy savored the look of sheer joy on Edward's face as he ate the food. The lack of conversation brought on by Ed's desire to eat didn't bother Roy in any way, and he was content to just watch Ed. After Ed had finished the first steak, Roy pushed his own towards the blonde, glad to see him so happy.

Ed barely noticed that he had broken his promise to Al until he had finished the bastard's steak, at which point he felt as if he might just throw all that food back up, but he had felt so comfortable when Roy had been talking to him. It had been a long time since he had gotten to talk normally with someone and...well, it was nice. Still, a promise was a promise, and Al would be disappointed in him if he remembered anything. He looked up to see Roy studying him and a confused look crossed his face as he tried to ignore the fact that he was only a few inches away from the trademark smirk.

"What?!?" He asked impatiently, trying to get farther from Roy as tactfully as possible.

"Nothing." Roy began, widening his smirk, "Just sitting here. Not eating anything."

"Nobody MADE you give me your steak!" Roy chose not to answer as he walked out of the resturaunt, feeling the cool night air as he began to walk towards Hawkeye's house. She had been right, dinner with Ed had been fun. He continued to walk, oblivious to the fact that Ed had stopped walking with him minutes ago.

"Hey, don't walk so fast!" Roy turned around to see Ed running to catch up with him, carrying something wrapped up in his jacket.

"Hmm. Fullmetal, what is that?" He questioned, gesturing towards the bundle in his arms.

"Nothing."

"Fullmetal, nothing doesn't ned to be hidden in a jacket. Nor does nothing make...meowing noises?"

"Fine, bastard, I thought that…" Ed stopped for a moment and looked at the kitten in his arms, an immediately felt guilty as he wished for a moment that Al remembered all the times that he had found kittens on the side of the road that they couldn't keep. Sure, it was trivial, but it was one of those things he always loved about Al, and now Al didn't even remember it. Still, it was going to be better this way. He knew it.

"I thought Al would want a kitten, and it **was** just sitting on the side of the road. He likes kittens…" Ed looked up fiercely at Roy, daring him to laugh or make fun of him.

"Fine, but don't suffocate it in your jacket. It no doubt smells like two steaks that you ate with absolutely no self control..." Roy smirked to hide the sorrow he felt in knowing that Alphonse wouldn't react to the cat like Ed expected.

"You did not have to give it to me." Roy stopped and looked at Edward, who currently couldn't do much besides yell and walk considering the kitten in his arms. And look amazing, but Ed could probably always do that in Roy's eyes. He leaned over and claimed the Elric's lips in a light kiss, feeling unnaturally light as he did so.

"You owed me for eating my steak." He called back as he walked away, leaving a very confused Ed behind.

* * *

Hey, sorry if it was bad, I can't really remember how long I was planning on making it, lol. I'm gonna get some brotherly bonding in next chapter, so yay, but I felt like I needed to get something done with Roy and Ed. It might be a while till I update again 'cause I'm goin out of town but if I suddenly get inspired...who knows? 


	7. Chapter 7

Oh my god, I don't even know how long its been since I updated! I am so freaking sorry! I was sitting around thinking that I would be sooo happy if someone would update a story so I could read something when I realized I hadn't updated this in forever. Sorry!!!

This chapter is longer than the last, I think, because I had a shitload of ideas floating around. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Ed watched the bastard walk away and felt very self concious as he did so. Had he always been amazed by the Roy's walk? Ed slowly brought two fingers to his lips and tried to figure out what exactly had just happened. He immediately yanked his hand down, trying to hide the obvious confusion he felt and ashamed that he was acting like such a...girl. 

Ed was **not **one of those stupid girls who got all excited and confused over one lousy kiss from the bastard.

One stupid kiss that the bastard probably hadn't cared all that much about.

He was probably just trying to get under Ed's skin and embarass him. He didn't care about Ed, and if Ed let it show that the kiss had meant anything to him at all, then he would be publicly humiliated by that self-centered, crazy, smirking bastard. As a matter of fact, Ed was glad he had eaten the bastards steak. He deserved to...

The steak.

Ed felt sick as he realized that he had broken his promise that he made to himself. He had eaten food when Al had a perfectly good body and was capable of eating. Ed looked down at the ground, feeling like a complete failure of a human being. He had broken his promise to Al by eating with _the bastard_ of all people.

The bastard that had just given Ed a kiss and then just left.

He freaking _left _after that. Ed straightened up and held the kitten against his chest, stomping his way to Al's apartment as he did so. Even if he was a horrible excuse for a human being, he was still giving his brother his kitten.

And not thinking about Roy.

* * *

Alphonse heard a noise from outside his door and put his ear to it, surprised to hear Edward talking to himself. He leaned in closer and could barely make out faint mutterings that couldn't be made into real words. He opened the door and saw Edward standing in front of the door, holding a bundle in one hand with the other hand raised in a fist, ready to knock. 

"Oh, Al!" Edward apparently got over the shock of having the door open before he knocked quickly, flashing a smile at Alphonse as he walked in the door.

"Yeah. Hi?" Alphonse moved aside to let Edward in and closed the door, waiting for his brother to explain why he was here.

"I, uh, got you a cat." Edward held out the bundle and Alphonse realized that there was in fact a kitten inside, and he fought the urge to glare at the cat and all that it represented.

"I even found it outside, Al." Edward smiled quickly and extended the cat to Alphonse nervously.

"Oh..." _Al loves cats. I have to love cats._ "Thank you so much!"

Alphonse tried his best to look excited and joyful as he took the cat from Edward. He didn't really like cats as much as he thought he was supposed to. They were cute, but Alphonse didn't really feel an unnatural attatchment to them. He did feel sorry for them...alone, cold, without anyone to care for them, but still...

'Al' was supposed to love cats and Alphonse didn't. Cats were just a constant reminder of how he could never be the 'Al' that everyone wanted. Why was it that this brother came in, expecting him to like this cat? Expecting him to be Al?

"By the way, my name is Alphonse." He could tell the cold tone hurt Edward, but his name was a touchy subject.

"Well, yeah," Edward began, shuffling his feet, "But everyone still calls you Al, right? I mean, its a nickname, Al."

"No. I'm Alphonse. Didn't you notice?"

Realization hit Edward's face as everything clicked into place. He would probably realize now what everyone else knew. That Alphonse wasn't the 'Al' that everyone wanted, that Alphonse was a better name for him, that-

"Oh, well, does Al...bother you?" Edward pulled Alphonse out of his train of thought with a thoughtful expression and a confused tone to match.

"...No." _But I'm not Al, I'm Alphonse. Everyone knows that. _

"_Okaaay_, do you prefer Alphonse in some weird way?" Edward was beginning to look skeptical and Alphonse now felt just as confused as his brother. Did he prefer Alphonse? No, but Alphonse was his name. Everyone called him Alphonse, even Winry had stopped calling him 'Al.'

"...No," Alphonse answered hesitantly.

"Then, Al it is." Edward's statement was so plain that Alphonse couldn't help but feel lost.

_No, it's not that easy. I can't be Al that easily. It won't work._

"But I'm not Al." Alphonse stated, feeling irritated at his brother's simple dismissal of the problem. He couldn't just be 'Al' all of the sudden when everyone knew that he didn't act like 'Al' should.

"That's so stupid. How can you _not_ be Al?" Edward questioned in an exasperated tone, throwing his arms in the air.

"I'm not the same!" Alphonse attempted to throw his arms into the air in a similar fashion, being rewarded by scratches on the hand that had been holding the cat he had forgotten he was holding. Alphonse sighed and began to walk out of the room to find a place for the cat.

"Who's to say?!?" Edward followed Alphonse into the kitchen, where cabinets were slammed open in search of a bowl for the cat.

"Winry said so, I don't remember the games we played when we were kids, I don't remember who you were, I don't remember the adventures we went on, and I don't remember what this stupid secret that everyone has is. I don't remember!"

"Well, yeah, but you're still Al!" Alphonse sighed at his brother's obtuse nature as he poured out a bowl of milk for the kitten, moving to grab some towels to make a bed for the cat.

"But I'm not the same Al," he replied, carefully folding the towels up in a corner and placing the kitten in the bed.

"What the hell?! People _change!_"

"Well...I don't like this cat." Alphonse found it hard to get angry with his brother at the moment, simply because he felt the need to balance out all of the shouting Ed seemed to do.

"Fine! Now you have more common sense than before!! Whoever you are is Al, get that through your head! If you wanna not like cats, fine. If you wanna be called Al, fine. Hell, if you would like to run around in a goddamn tutu, be my guest!!"

Al tried to collect his thoughts as he looked down at the kitten Ed had brought as he fed it another bowl of milk that the very kitten-bearer seemed determined to glare at. The thing kept drinking and drinking and he vaguely wondered if it had ever eaten anything.

"You are seriously one gluttonous exc-"

_Gluttony._ As the word echoed through Al's mind, he could barely make out the outline of a strange person. He had never really realized it before, but it was true, a faint whisper of a memory. He quickly pushed past his brother to grab a pencil and some paper, writing down the word and what he could make out in his mind.

This had to be a part of his past. If he knew about his past he could figure out if he was really Al. Was it wrong to wish that he was his past-self? To be so envious of yours-

_Envy._ Al felt a faint ringing noise in his mind as the word echoed through his thoughts, leaving the imprint of another person. He scrambled to copy down the faint outline again, feeling more confused by the second.

He had never gotten so much of his past at once, and especially such odd parts. Usually it was the occassional memory of running through the grass with Winry or playing with a dog, never something so odd as people he had never met who went by names of...the deadly sins? Al excitedly began to go through all of the sins he could think of, ending up with vague outlines of six odd people.

_Gluttony, Envy, Greed, Lust, Wrath, Pride...Sloth!_

Alphonse dropped the pencil quickly as grief and regret washed over him completely. He felt as if he would suffocate from the sorrow around him, but he didn't know why. Sloth made him feel like curling up and crying about something, but what something was, Al did not know. He painfully drew the outline of the person, though the edges were sharper than they should've been.

Ed seemed to notice the change in his brother and curiously tried to see over his brother's shoulder only to stiffen when he saw what Al had written down. Al noticed the change and quickly turned to his brother.

"Wha-" Before Al could even finish his sentence, Ed had run out the door.

"Well. _That's_ not suspicious," Al announced to the room in general before turning into his room for some well deserved rest.

* * *

Ed ran. Again. 

It was actually a stupid thing to do, anyone would be more than happy to tell Ed that running madly out of his brother's house did not make said brother magically forget a part of his past that he had just uncovered. Ed too had a small voice in his mind that sounded unnervingly similar to Al's that was more than happy to tell Ed how stupid this was.

It was not one of Ed's most thought out plans. And Ed's most thought out plans often only involved thinking about how his actions would affect his ability to procure something to eat. That being said, Ed had not thought about this. At all. And the relatively sane part of Ed's mind was more than happy to point this out.

Ed would be much better of going back to his brother's apartment and explaining everything so that Al would undesrtand everything from a more personal level, not just what he could dig up in the library would tell him. The two of them could even possibly bond over the experience. Edward Elric, however, rarely listened to the practical voice in his head, and as a result often ended up in situations such as his current.

Running madly down the street.

Ed stopped running for a moment as confusion settled in.

He knew Central, more so than he would like to, in fact.

He knew Central, but he did not know where Riza's house was from here.

"Oh...Shit."

Never let it be said that Edward Elric is about as eloquent as a four year old.

Four year olds can throw quite the tantrum and don't like being made fun of.

* * *

"You kissed him?" 

Riza made two cups of coffee and came back to Roy at the table, patiently awaiting his undoubtedly stupid answer. She prayed that he hadn't done what she thought he had. Ed could fall in love with Roy, he might've already done so to some level, but Ed wouldn't think like any woman Roy had ever dated.

He wouldn't think it was charming that Roy had kissed him unexpectedly.

He would think it was weird of Roy to kiss him unexpectedly.

He wouldn't feel drawn to Roy's seemingly aloof manner after the kiss.

He would become annoyingly aloof for the next few days.

He wouldn't go home and write in his diary about how the famous flame alchemist had kissed him on the lips and then left him with butterflies in his stomach.

He would come back and write in his journal about how the annoying bastard had kissed him and now his stomach felt gross.

He wouldn't talk with friends about how he could win over the flame's heart.

He would plot revenge on Roy for "trying to embarass him."

Riza sighed and turned to Roy, who currently wore the expression of a satisfied cat until her tone of voice settled in.

"Is that somehow harmful?" He asked, obviously confused about how she was reacting to this.

"Sir, you _know_ Edward," she replied simply, watching as Roy thought about the repurcussions of his actions. He put his head in his hands and she could barely hear him when he softly murmured into his hands.

"Oh...Shit."

Being in love can make you drop all the masks you put up as armor against the world.

It can make Roy Mustang not care that at the moment he was just about as eloquent as Edward Elric.

"Sir, go home, and get to work on time tomorrow," Hawkeye said calmly, collecting the coffee cups and seeing Roy out the door.

After Roy was gone, Riza was about to go to bed when she realized that Ed hadn't come back yet. Roy had said he was going to see his brother, but it was late, and Al wouldn't have let Ed stay to this hour. Alphonse would have sent Ed home at a reasonable time to avoid waking Riza, but it was well past midnight and the Elric had yet to return.

Riza locked the door and went to bed with a sigh. Even if Ed did come back, a locked door wouldn't be a problem for him.

* * *

Roy walked into his room in a dreamlike fashion as he tried to assess the damage he had done tonight. Roy unbuttoned his shirt with trouble as he got ready to try to sleep, but gave up halfway and collapsed on his bed with his shoes still on. Roy ran hand through his hair and looked up at the ceiling, wondering how much Ed would hate him the next day. 

Riza was right. He shouldn't have kissed Ed. Ed didn't like Roy that much yet. Ed didn't love Roy like Roy loved him.

...Ed didn't know Roy loved him.

Roy let out an angry sigh and turned onto his side so he could look at his door. Even in the dark, he knew where every line on the door was, every imperfection in the wood. In his more pathetic times, Roy had spent hours in the middle of the day staring at the door as he longed for Ed to come back.

Roy slowly sat up, feeling less desperate about the situation with Ed than before. Sure, he had kissed Ed. Ed would probably be mad and confused. Ed would probably throw things; But all that meant was that there was an Ed to be mad and throw things. There was an Ed to kiss and make confused.

Ed was there.

Roy fell back down onto the bed, feeling better as he did so. He might've made a little mess with the situation, but he had time to clean up the mess. The mess wasn't going anywhere. Things wouldn't be easy for Roy, but Ed was back, and that was all that mattered. Roy closed his eyes and began to make plans for winning Ed over. Without realizing it, his trademark smirk was in place as he considered the possibilities.

This was the first night in the longest time that Roy could fall asleep knowing that Edward Elric was alive and safe in Central...

Where he belonged.

Roy's smirk was replaced by a soft smile as he dozed off into a peaceful, nightmare-free sleep.

* * *

Havoc drove to pick up Roy for work in a good mood. Hawkeye and Roy had left early the day before for some reason of their own and taken Alphonse with them. An office without Hawkeye or Alphonse meant no work. An office without Roy meant no competition for women.

Not that women sat around in their office all that often.

Hawkeye had told everyone to stay at the office and finish work, but no one did. The only one in favor of listening to Hawkeye had been Fuery, and even he had been tempted to the slacker side with promises of a day off. Everyone had left the office, and they would probably pay for it if Hawkeye was back tomorrow, but today Havoc had been rewarded with an entire day off, and he was happy.

Havoc considered how upset Hawkeye would be today after she realized that no work had been finished after she left when he saw someone sitting on the side of the road, looking like someone who was...sad enough to be sitting on the side of the road. Upon seeing long, golden hair, Havoc felt that he might just get a date today and quickly resolved to stop and help the poor girl.

As he got the girl's attention, she looked up and he was met two golden eyes. Havoc blinked, expecting to see the figure in front of him change back into the girl he had been imagining before, but it was useless. No matter how many times he blinked, Havoc was left with the same truth.

"Boss?"

Havoc took a hesitant step backwards as he tried to make sense of the situation. He wasn't confused about Ed being alive; Havoc could take these things in stride. The only problem Havoc had with the current situation was that Edward Elric, the famed fullmetal alchemist, was currently sitting on the side of the road. He wasn't with his brother, or Hawkeye, or even Roy for that matter.

Ed was alone, and Havoc was the first one to find him. Havoc allowed a smile to slowly pass over his face as he realized that despite how much work it might be to take Ed in for a while, the look of shock on Mustang's face would be worth it. Everyone knew that Mustang was breaking down, and only a fool wouldn't see that it had all started after Ed left. Havoc figured that Roy, deep down, enjoyed the blonde's company.

And Havoc had found Ed first.

"Boss, you want a ride?"

* * *

You know, I saw those isins that have ipods, and I realized that even when you can't see their faces, the sins look pretty weird. 


End file.
